The following letter, entitled as above, was originally published in several Nimal newspapers in NY1980. Though it is addressed to all "humans," its context indicates that it was really meant only for Nimals.  While this casts some doubt on Martian observation techniques, the conclusions about the effects of cars are still obviously valuably valid. It is unlikely that cars are actually an "alien species," as the writer asserts. On the other hand, if these Martians are ignorant of the Magical world, the "gift" of cars from Dark Wizards might have appeared to them as some sort of alien invasion. The reader is left to draw his own conclusions.
 

Dear Humans:

Your friends on Mars would like to propose the following questions to you: In the contest between the two dominant species on your planet --man and car-- how do you currently evaluate the relative positions of the opponents? Which is in control -- man or car?

By monitoring your television broadcasts, we have, with great alarm, realized that, for various reasons, these questions have never entered many of your minds at all. We know, therefore, how most of you will answer the above questions. We know that you will, undoubtedly and without the least hesitation, assert most forcefully that MAN is in control. How do we know that this will be your reply? Well, dear humans, it is because you have all been taught the following wrong "facts". The first is that, among all species existing on the planet Earth, MAN is the DOMINANT species. You believe this teaching mostly on the basis of noticing the enormous modification-damages that man has brought about, and by remembering that man has found ways of destroying the existence of every other being-form on the planet. The second wrong "fact" you have been taught is that cars are not even another species. You believe, apparently, that cars are your objects, your possessions, your tools -- mere THINGS and not a competing life form at all. This second wrong "fact", in particular, leads you to evaluate the situation as you do and answer our questions without even giving them serious consideration.

But, from Mars, the situation looks quite different. In fact, cars are an alien species to the planet Earth who have come to your formerly-greener planet to plunder it for food reserves and human slaves. And their invasion is being increasingly successful.

Think, humans, though you may not remember it yourselves, you're aware that a mere hundred years ago no cars inhabited the surface of your planet. They've all come since then. They came at first in small numbers, taking over the minds of only a few key humans. These human slaves were necessary to assist in the reproduction processes of this species most alien to the planet Earth. When they first began to reproduce in large numbers (with the aid of their human dupes) and make open appearances on the planet, they scared all animals, children and sane adults with their noise, their evil smell, their fast and unstable means of locomotion. But through skillful public-relations- manipulation, the cars began to create in the minds of some of your fathers and grandfathers the need to be "in possession" of one of these "fine vehicles". When those who "needed" them began to acquire them in larger numbers, the next phase of the invasion was put into effect. These dominant- species-human-motorists, finding themselves frequently stuck in the mud of roads suitable for travel on by man and beast, began to do as the cars suggested and lobby for the initiation of the paving over of the planet Earth. (Whereas dirt, grass, trees and other forms of oxygen-producing vegetation are natural and beneficial to the surface of YOUR planet, on the planet from whence came the cars, the natural surface is entirely asphalt and concrete.) This lobbying effort, as you can see, has been highly successful and cars now enjoy easy and smooth access to almost every part of your planet.

Of course, these invaders have needed to be fed. Even before there were McDonalds for the feeding of humans-in-motion, there were gas stations for the feeding of cars. Since a given locality often could not produce the food required for its own car population, and since this population was rapidly increasing, the cars instituted complicated mechanisms by which their food supply could be assured. That is to say, they created oil companies to extract food for them from places both near and far and to deliver this oil to where it was needed. The oil companies, in pursuing their assigned task, have created such wonders as pipelines to damage the permafrost, spilling tankers to poison your seas, and have, besides, supported many corrupt regimes of men who were most willing to let this plunder take place.

When you consider the question of which species is in control, please try to think of what this feeding has come to. Each of you who "owns" a car is working increasingly many hours in order merely to afford to keep your car well fed. When food is in short supply, you reconcile yourselves to waiting on a line for two or three hours (of YOUR life). Already, you have come to expect such happenings as "the inevitable".

At this moment, your attention, perhaps, also should be drawn to the increasing burden of "your" car's medical expenses. Remember your last trip to the auto body shop or your last tune-up or etc.. As "necessities", of course, these expenses come right off the top of the family budget. These rising costs have more than once resulted in situations where human needs were left unsatisfied in order to meet the needs of the cars.

The cars have convinced you that they are your tools -- that they enable you to visit far-away friends, to live fifty miles from where you work, and to be, in general, in charge of your own destiny. In reality, of course, if this car species did not exist on your planet, you wouldn't have many far-away friends (you would be friends instead with those around you) and would never find it necessary to put yourself in the absurdly dangerous position of piloting a ton of steel over icy, frictionless roads in order, merely, to "earn your bread". That is to say, the cars have created beings suitable to themselves and have taught you, by skillful manipulation of your "needs" -- some of these passed from father to son -- to accept and, indeed, REVEL in conditions entirely unsuitable for your species. They like nothing more than encountering a human who believes that he uses cars to his own advantage. Such a human will, in fact, often spend many hours of work in keeping his master's coat clean and shiny and in making sure his white walls have no smudge.

Humans, please note that these cars are, even directly, exterminating members of your own species. When two of these creatures collide, the human-steering- mechanism-component is often severely damaged. And when one of these "four- wheeled servants" collides with an unencased human (or a dog or a cat or a rabbit or with any other small, gentle creature), the result is even worse. So much for DOMINANCE.

Your friends on Mars, dear humans, call your attention to this matter at this time since we have noticed that, in your unawareness of the true facts of the matter, some of you are beginning to contemplate as "quite reasonable" the possibility of fighting a war to ensure the food supply for the cars currently existing (and soon to come) in your chosen nationalistic locality. This would be a grave error on your part. It should at least make you suspicious when your realize that the latest advance in warfare technology -- the neutron bomb -- will, while killing many humans, leave most of the cars untouched.

Humans, your planet has more to offer than can be appreciated at fifty-five miles per hour. Wise up! Rather than fight a war to retain your "privilege" of driving, it would be better for you all were you to beat your cars into plowshares and begin to feed your own hungry brothers and sisters.

With love,
perezmeyer